I thought I'd interview myself because no one else will.
Q: When was the last time you ate an avocado?
A: Two days ago. And it was a bad avocado. There's nothing better than a good avocado, but there's also nothing worse than a bad avocado.
Q: Who do you think will win the Presidential Election?
A: Which one?
Q: Don't play dumb.
A: I don't think you can trust a man with two first names. John Kerry will lose.
Q: Where is Osama bin Laden?
A: Crawford, Texas. Or Nashville.
Q: When was the last time you did a cartwheel in public?
A: Three weeks ago.
Q: What was the name of your first pet?
A: Pinky. He was a cat.
Q: Who does your mom swear she saw at the Zurich airport the summer of 2001?
A: One of the 9/11 hijackers.
Q: If you could be a fly on any wall, which would you choose?
A: The Berlin Wall.
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