Hyphenations

Caroline and Dave are engaged. Congratulations!

And they have me and Boly Welch - a Portland temp agency - to thank. The seed of their relationship was planted much earlier (perhaps when my mother left Finland for America with the sole purpose of bearing me so that I could unite Dave and Caroline) but I'm only going to go back so far as 2001.

I had moved back to Portland, and had bills to pay, so I signed up at a temp agency. They soon found work for me at a company they said made 'security alarms'. Well, it was Tripwire, that famous data network integrity software provider, so all had a good laugh about burglar alarms.

And then I got to work, finding geek husbands for my social worker/teacher friends.

I promptly decided that Caroline should marry one of the programmers, Will Ball. For one very good reason: she could hyphenate her name and be Caroline Bowles-Ball. I even had a vision one night, in which an angel presented me with stationery that said "Dr. and Dr. Bowles-Ball". It was a short-lived dream, as I had never spoken to Will, and could find no way to sensibly broach the topic. Although I did rehearse: "Will, I'd like you to get a PhD, and marry my friend Caroline and then hyphenate your name." It never sounded quite right.

So, somewhere along the way, because of me - and Boly Welch - she met Dave, who worked at Tripwire. And they fell in love. And now they're getting married. And I don't care if she hyphenates her name. But she MUST name her first born after me. Even if it's a boy.