A-L: Do you remember that song about Christmas in Africa?
Maria: Yeah. With WHAM! What's the name of the guy who produced that video?
A-L: I have no idea. Oh wait, Bob Geldof. Sorry, it's actually Sir Bob Geldof.
Maria: Says who?
A-L: The Queen. I guess. She changed his name. With a wand, I think. And so the Brits have to call him Sir Bob. But the Americans don't.
Maria: Because we don't believe in the Queen?
A-L: Exactly. It's the same with Dame Judi Dench.
Maria: Who? Oh yeah, Judi Dench. You threw me off with the whole Dame thing. What's the hierarchy? Is Lady better than Dame or Maiden?
A-L: I'm sure Google knows. But last time I checked they don't hand out the title Maiden. Did you know that Camilla Parker-Bowles is The Duchess of Rothesay when she's in Scotland?
Maria: Only when she's in Scotland? What is she when she's in England?
A-L: Um, I'll leave that one to the comedians. And the Queen's husband, Prince Philip, is known as The Duke of Edinburgh, among other things. And there's a Princess who's known as Princess Michael of Kent, because her husband's name is Michael, I think.
Maria: Well, by that logic, wouldn't that make the Queen's husband Prince Elizabeth, The Duchess of Edinburgh? And what's Fergie known as now?
A-L: Don't bring up the F-word. Or the other one.
Maria: My mother-in-law loves the other one, Princess Diana.
A-L: I think now she's known as the Princess formerly known as Diana. She changed it to get out of some contract with Sony, or the Queen.