RSVP

Anna-Lisa: "Ted, tomorrow I am going to Ireland." And then I said it with a Polish accent: "Irlandia"

Ted: "Irlandia? Tomorrow?"

A-L: "Stuart's brother is getting married. We are going to his wedding." And then I marched across the kitchen humming "The Wedding March".

Ted: "Stuart's brother? Finlandia?"

A-L: "Yes, but no. Yes, Stuart's brother, Andrew, but not Finlandia, Irlandia", which now I've decided is the name of a country.

Ted: "How many people?"

A-L: "I think about 150."

Ted: "Big wedding. My wedding, 180."

A-L: "118?"

Ted: "No, 180. We say to 210 people, but 30 say 'no thank you'."

There you have it, folks, the most polite RSVP: 'no thank you', and it must be said in a Polish accent.