Thumb-Suckings Cat's Brother for Sale (or free to a good home)

A-L: You'll never guess what happened.

Caroline: You're right.

A-L: The Sea-Horse Whisperer's Sister's Thumb-Sucking Cat's Brother jumped up on my bed last night and...

Caroline: Peed with impunity?

A-L: How'd you know?

Caroline: Everyone comes to me with cat pee stories.

A-L: I don't suppose you have any of that coyote urine left?

Caroline: Um, that wouldn't help you. The Thumb-Sucker's Brother is peeing in your room not because he sees Steve and Fake Steve in the yard, but because he's been traumatized by the move across country.

A-L: I think he wants my room. It gets morning sun and has a nice closet.

Caroline: No, he's in distress. He misses Omaha, and his brother.

A-L: I do suppose San Francisco is quite a change. He's started wearing skinny jeans. And he's also been self-harming. He has scratched two bald spots on his forehead.

Caroline: Do you want me to send you my, er, dog-eared copy of Think Like a Cat?

A-L: Will that get cat pee out of down comforter?

Caroline: No, you need Anti Icky Poo for that.