I have an update from Dana, our long-suffering downstairs neighbor of an upstairs unicorn.
A-L: What's news? Any unicorn sightings?
Dana: We've done some more forensic work and confirmed that it's definitely a unicorn, or someone who moves about their room via a rolling chair.
A-L: Like a wheelchair?
Dana: No. Like an office chair.
A-L: Oh, like that scene from the opening credits of Family Ties, when Alex P. Keaton rolls across his room? It's the episode where he was taking speed.
Dana: Maybe. Although I don't think the unicorn is on speed.