Kitten Threats

"When are you going to get kitty splayed?"
Stuart

"I think that's a bit drastic."
A-L

A Rose By Any Other Name...

Overheard during the holidays...

Peter to Maria: "Irma, do you have a flashlight?"

Maria to Aila: "Anna-Lisa, please go pick up your toys."

Irma to Anna-Lisa: "Maria, do you know where the diaper cloths are?"

Peter to Irma: "Maria, can you pass the salt?"

Maria about Annais: "Oh, Anna-Lisa is trying to crawl."

Irma to Aila: "Anna-Lisa, are you getting tired?"

And the best one...

Aila to Anna-Lisa about Maria: "Maybe Anna-Ria can bring the rubber duckies into the bathroom."

Aila and Annais

Bronchial Baby Jesus

Annais as Baby Jesus, as seen off-off-off Broadway.

Auster-Doyle

You may recall a previous post which featured a conversation between Paul and me about our dear friend Gemma, who has shown a, well, keen interest in attending author events, photographing herself with the author, and then forwarding said photo to friends. Well, our very public diagnosis of this syndrome (named for photos taken with Paul Auster and Roddy Doyle) led to, surprise surprise, no more "author with Gemma" photos. Or so we thought.

Paul: There's an author photo up on Gemma's blog?

A-L: You're kidding. She must be having another spell. Who is it this time?

Paul: You'll never guess.

A-L: Alexander McCall Smith?

Paul: Yes. But this time it's just the photo of Sandy, as he's called. It's not a photo of Sandy and Gemma holding one of his freshly-signed books.

A-L: Surely such a photo exists.

Paul: Yeah, Gemma told me she has one of her and Sandy. She just didn't post it.

A-L: Hmm. So she's trying to hide her problem.

Paul: Now she has Auster-Doyle-Smith syndrome.

A-L: No, no. You can't keep adding names to it. That's not how syndromes work.

Paul: Is there a syndrome of thinking you're an expert on syndromes?

A-L: Perhaps. But you can't change the syndrome's name. It's not like they call Parkinsons Disease "Parkinsons J. Fox Disease" now that Alex P. Keaton has it.

Paul: Well, at any rate she has a new syndrome because she's still suffering from Auster-Doyle but trying to hide it.

A-L: Ok, that could be "Auster-Doyle by McCall-Smith" Syndrome. You know, along the same lines as that Munich by Proxy. And today I got an e-mail from Gemma where she claims she's friends with that aide worker and her parents who were kidnapped in Gaza. What's that all about?

Paul: I'll have to think about that one.

A-L: Ohmigosh, I thought of the most horrible name for it.

Paul: Let me guess! Let me guess! "Waite by the Phone"?

Husky With Flourescent Green-Eyed Kitten Seeks Dishwasher

Made it safely back to Edinburgh. I wish someone had pressed the "Self-Clean" button on the flat. It smells like Ted's feet, cooking oil and stale cigarette smoke. But don't worry, Paul, I'll wait to clean up until you get back...

Cat Pilates

Peter: What's wrong with your cat? Is she handicapped?

A-L: She didn't have her broken foot yet in this photo. This is what she does when we turn the gas fire on.

Peter: How often do you turn the gas fire on?

A-L: Haven't turned it on since this photo was taken. And to answer your question, yes, she is handicapped. Emotionally, I think.

The Curious Incident of the Cat in the Flat

A-L: Did Maria tell you that Kitty broke a bone in her foot?

Brother-in-law Hector: You have a cat?

A-L: Yeah, apparently Kitty broke a bone in her foot over the Christmas holidays.

B-in-law: No way, this one's named Kitty too?

A-L: The other one was MR. Kitty. That's totally different.

B-in-law: Oh, so he broke his leg?

A-L: SHE broke her FOOT. Stuart took her to the vet who said it's quite common for kittens to jump down from a really high place and hurt their feet. So Kitty just has to take it easy for a couple weeks and the bone should heal on its own. Although I'd love it if she got a cast on her foot and then all of her cat friends could sign it.