Caroline: Hi. I can only talk for a little while. The pool men are coming over.
A-L: Plural? You have more than one?
Caroline: There is the pool guy who installed the state-of-the-art pool cover, and then there's Juan.
A-L: Most people have just juan. Not two.
Kitty: Now THAT'S the dumbest thing you've ever said.
Caroline: The pool is such a hassle. I know that sounds terribly bourgeois.
Kitty: Um, you have an Arkansas accent and live in Oregon. But I can check with my French friends to see if you can get in on a technicality.
Caroline: I just keep telling myself, "I didn't choose the pool, I chose the pool owner."
A-L: So what's wrong with the pool now? Have the raccoons been laying eggs in it?
Caroline: Quite possibly. It's murky and green and looks like a koi pond, but I think Juan can fix it. He's been taking care of it since the Mexican drug lord lived here.
A-L: Dave used to live with a drug lord?
Caroline: Alas no. A drug lord owned the house previously.
A-L: Oh, right. He's the guy who turned one of the upstairs bedrooms into a huge bathroom with a jacuzzi tub, Mexican tiles, and turquoise walls. The paint color was the tip off that he was high on coke.
Caroline: It's known to all as the porn bathroom. It works really well with the hardwood floor in the rest of the place. The drug lord also put an over-sized roof on the house, which doesn't suit it at all. It used to have a flat roof.
A-L: Maybe he needed a place to store all the cocaine.
Caroline: Anywho, Juan of the pool men is calling me. Gotta run.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
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3 comments:
ahem. I chose the turquoise paint in the porn bathroom.
Caroline, are you a drug lord? Your bathroom makes me feel like I'm in Acapulco, or at a Mexican restaurant on John's Landing.
that's precisely the vibe I was going for--the laundry room at El Burrito Loco.
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