Eavesdropping

Last night Stuart and I had dinner at The Apartment, and sat next to a table of four: three men and one woman - two Americans, a Brit, and one VERY LOUD Australian man.

It seemed the American woman, and her British husband, and their American colleague were embarking on a business venture with the Australian man. (I would recommend against it.)

I decided not to say a word, to anyone, not even Stuart (except whispering), for fear that they would detect my American accent and censor their most interesting conversation. There were some gems.

Gem 1: Loud Australian Man (LAM) on California: "San Diego has no history."

Anna-Lisa to LAM (in her head): "Tell that to the Mexicans and the Native Americans, you idiot."

Gem 2: LAM after speaking in French to American Lady (AM) and in reponse to the American Man (AM) saying that he took French for two years and didn't understand what LAM said: "Yes I knew you wouldn't understand, I was using slang, and you wouldn't know it."

Anna-Lisa to LAM (in her head, but louder): "You jackass, where do you get off trying to discourage people from speaking, or trying to speak, a foreign language by intentionally using slang and then insulting their skills??"

Gem 3: British Man (BM): "When I was in California, I couldn't get over how vacuous people were."

Anna-Lisa to BM (in her head): "I'll be sure to pass that on to the folks at CalTech, and at the Jet Propulsion Lab, while I'm at it."

Anna-Lisa to Stuart: "What does 'vacuous' mean?"

Gem 4: LAM on his vast knowledge of America: "When I go to the States, people tell me 'you unsettle me with how much you know about the U.S.'"

How unsettling.