If I Had Spoken to My Arkansas Correspondent

A-L: Hi, since I haven't had a chance to speak to you, I'm going to make up a conversation we've had.

Caroline: Fair enough.

A-L: As the Portland-based Arkansas correspondent for this blog, I'd like to hear your take on why red-winged blackbirds are falling out of the sky in Arkansas.

Kitty: Old news.

A-L: Sister Maria and I are inclined to believe the Presbyterians are behind this, of course.

Caroline: Fair enough.

A-L: Is that polite Southern talk for "no comment"?

Caroline: No. I'm just pondering the evidence.

A-L: While you're pondering, can you help us with the pronunciation of the town now covered in dead red-winged blackbirds? It's Beebe, Arkansas. Would one say "bee-bee" or "beeb"?

Caroline: No comment on the pronunciation. As for the birds, turns out some fool set off professional-grade fireworks which scared them.

Emergency Preparedness

Yesterday I travelled home on the N-Judah with a très pregnant colleague. Our train was stuck for about 10 minutes in one of the stations.

Pregnant Colleague: I wish they had a better contingency plan for when these things happen.

So of course I'm thinking about escape routes, or alarms, or an announcement system.

P.C.: They should come around and serve us ice cream.

Neighbors

Dana: I haven't been getting very much sleep lately.

A-L: What ails you?

Dana: Have I told you about the unicorn upstairs?

A-L: No, indeed you have not. Tell all.

Dana: Well, there's a new "person" living in the room above mine. Lots of noise, at night. I've gone upstairs to introduce myself, and to express my concern about the noise. And this "person" is never home.

A-L: Ah, yes. I'm familar with upstairs neighbors. What makes you think it's a unicorn?

Dana: There's lots of prancing about. I can hear the clip-clopping of hooves. And it keeps odd hours. Tell-tale signs. Others have confirmed it sounds like a unicorn.

A-L: Well I'll be. I'd love to bring my nieces over. I'm sure they'd be *thrilled* to meet a unicorn.

Dana: I'll see if we can arrange a pot luck.