Our Little Capitalist Piglet

Paul and I are raising Ted (the Polish flatmate) to be a capitalist pig. Not that the Poles aren't capitalists, but they're just not the capitalist pigs they could be. Now, I know some political correspondent - there must be one among my thousands of readers - will comment on the distinction between capitalism and consumerism, so I won't bother. I'll just change my mind now. Paul and I are raising Ted to be a consumer. A piggish one. When he first arrived in our home, he was happy with very little. Then he discovered catalogues. He's bought jeans and shoes and t-shirts and a really fancy camera-phone, and a stereo thats REALLY LOUD and he his currently shopping around for sunglasses and a baseball cap.

So today, as I had the day off, I decided to take Ted to ASDA. It's a subsidiary of Wal-Mart. Need I say more. He loved it. I took him 20 minutes to get past the first aisle. Now the nearest ASDA is two buses and about 25 minutes away. But that will not deter Ted.

Ted: "ASDA very good."

A-L: "I knew you would like it," she cackled.

Ted: "I no know what ASDA is. What is this ASDA? You no say it very big store. I only bring £10. You say we going to big store I bring more money."

A-L: "Oh, I wanted it to be a surprise."

Ted: "OK. It's ok, now I know bus number 44 and 4 come to ASDA."

Uh oh.

And I saw something verrrrrrrrrry suspicious today at ASDA. Jeans for £3. (Which is $5.50.) Hmmmm. Where are these being made? Hmmmmmm. Good thing we have another convert.