Mr. & Mrs. Squirrel Come to Town

Flatmate Justyna's parents are here from Poland, for 10 days. They don't really speak English, so we speak the international language of vodka and cured meats. It turns out their last name is Polish for 'squirrel', which is probably why Kitty has adopted Mr. Squirrel as her foster mother.

Conversation, via interpreter Justyna, which took place after I caught Mr. Squirrel feeding Kitty pieces of pork off his plate...

A-L: She's for sale. I have papers to prove she's only had fleas once.

Mr. Squirrel (to Kitty): Oh, you can come back to Poland with me.

(Kitty: I need to be hand-fed cured meat.)

A-L: She doesn't have a passport though.

Mrs. Squirrel: She can be on our family passport. If they question us at the airport, we'll just say "it's two squirrels and a cat."

Two days later, Mrs. Squirrel changes her tune...this time no interpreter was present. A Polski/English dictionary, and lotsa hand signals resulted in this conversation:

Mrs. Squirrel: We saw a sign today, for a missing cat.

A-L: Yeah, I was thinking of copying the layout to make a poster saying I've found a cat.

Mr. Squirrel: The cat on the missing poster looks remarkably like Kitty.

Gordon to A-L: Have you told the Squirrels that Kitty is stolen?

A-L: Pipe down, or you won't get any more speaking lines.

Mrs. Squirrel: By my calculations, that cat is worth 150 GBP.

Gordon to A-L: Mrs. Squirrel just referred to Kitty as 'that cat'.

A-L: I know, she's lovely. Kitty hates her too.