Portland Magazine

Read a great magazine.

I love...

...tricking you guys into looking at niece photos.

Has Anyone Booked Their Flights Yet?

All y'all better come visit Scotland while you have a free place to stay. I spoke to my dad about the relatively inexpensive flights to which I posted a link the other day, and he said, "sometimes you have to be careful when you're dealin' with some airline ticket broker. You never know what you're gettin'." Thanks, Pete "Delta Airlines" Sandstrum

In a Controversial Move...

...Paul has started calling Kitty by the new name of "Lady Morag." I do not approve, as Morag is perhaps my least favourite Scottish name.

Justice Served?

Could you, would you, help Brandon Hein?

Dear Dave Bleckmann,

How are you?

Scenic England

A couple weeks ago we had a work conference at the boss's parents' house. This is their backyard.

Kitty

The custody battle for Kitty has calmed down, for now, so Kitty is still with us at Perth Street.

Come visit

Relatively inexpensive flights to London. And then just book a flight to Edinburgh...

Active Minded Pete

Let's take a little trip back to 1988. Those were Pete's ladies'-garden-hat-wearing days. Cousin Randy on the left, Uncle Chuck on the right, Garden Lady Pete in the middle.

Awwwwwwww

Another update from Maria:

Aila said to me this morning: "Mommy... enemer ah-lisa... room... pongebob pants... I love it... that movie!" I'm not sure what the connection was, but she was thinking about you.

Thank you Maria. Yes, Aila was thinking about me and pongebob.

All best,
ah-lisa

Retired, Again

I saw a poster advertising Joan Rivers' Farewell Tour. Which confused me, because I thought we'd all said good bye to her already, twice. And then I realised it's the First Annual Farewell Tour. Oh, she's being funny. I get it.

Active Minds

A-L: "My dad called me from France the other day, for free, from his computer, using Skype, which he pronounces 'sky pee'."

Paul: "I think I'd like to meet your dad. It sounds like he has quite an active mind."

A-L: "He does. You'd like him. My dad's a nice guy. In fact, he'd like you."

Paul: "Everybody likes me. Actually, it was the oddest thing, I just met someone who didn't like me, which never happens. Where was that? Oh yes, it was up in Elgin, but she was drunk."

A-L: "Inactive mind."

Paul: "Pardon."

A-L: "She probably has an inactive mind."

Paul: "She needs sky pee."

The Axis of RSVPs

So, I am handling the RSVPs for an upcoming event, and it turned out that the only people who had not replied were the Germans, the Italians, and the Japanese. Hmmm...what are they plotting??

So I told flatmate Paul this little factoid and he replied: "I'd expect that of the Italians, but certainly not of the Germans or Japanese."

A-L: "Expect what?"

Paul: "You know, non Respondez S'il Vous Plait . Or Respondez S'il Vous Plait when I'm done with my 4-hour lunch."

A-L: "The EU needs you."

Paul: "I don't think the Japanese will be let into the EU."

A-L: "Not at this rate they won't. They can't even RSVP for a dinner."

Overheard

"I don't have time to be busy."
Anonymous.

Prayers Cont.

Please keep Dave Bleckmann in your prayers/thoughts.

Hot Luck

My friend Dave (Portland Dave) has, in the past, hosted a hot luck. Folks, don't get confused here. It's not a typo. I did not mean to write 'pot luck', I meant what I wrote, 'hot luck'. The concept: bring somethin' hot (spicy hot) to share. At the hot luck I attended Laurel brought habanero poppers (please insert squiggly line over the 'n') that were so hot (spicy hot) that after eating one your body went into survival mode.

So Dave (hot luck Portland Dave) was in a car accident near Bend, Oregon and is in ICU. Caroline (of Camden, Arkansas fame, and g/f of habanero Dave) asked me to ask you to keep Dave in your thoughts and prayers. (Non-denominational prayers will be considered on a case-by-case basis.) Dave has a punctured lung, a broken heel, and broken arm. But Caroline reports that Dave is in good spirits, and apparently "finds all this concern amusing".

Dave, Scotland is sending good thoughts and Presbyterian prayers your way.

Swimming

So I've joined the gym and started swimming.

And when I was in the pool alone the other day, and floating on my back and propelling myself forward with my arms (i.e. the opposite direction you usually swim when doing the backstroke), I realised that it was probably good that I was alone in the pool, and that no one with influence on my career advancement was present. Because when I am in a swimming pool I have the compulsion to pretend that I am a professional synchronized swimmer.

Which I am not.

Finn Twins

Cousin Minna and and Sami's twin girls exploring the beautiful Finnish countryside.

Day Care Drama

The report from Maria:

Annais got her first smack on the head with a toy from the other little baby (13 mos. old) at day care yesterday! Aila flew to her rescue scolding the little girl: "NO HIT MY BABY!!"

I couldn't be more proud.

Now Aila says "Enemer (remember)... Jordan... Lyn... Lanham... hit Eeeese... mommy?" (She can say Jordan's full name, but not Annais) with long pauses between words so that they come out exactly right.

DJ Hijinks

Sound from the hallway this morning: Hello???

A-L: Paul! Hi! You're back! How was California?

P: Great. Good. Hot and sunny.

A-L: You're tan.

P: We rented a convertible, and played gangsta rap. We kept the top down even when it was ridiculous to do so. Like when we were going 65mph on the freeway at 10 pm and it was freezing.

A-L: What was the funniest thing that happened?

P: We were at one of the Twin Peaks and met a Japanese tourist. He asked if this was the Twin Peaks, and I said 'one of them', and then he said, 'oh, there are two?'

A-L: Good one.

Meanwhile, in Japan: (translated from Japanese, of course, even the names)

Ken: Hello?? Anybody home??

Michelle: Hi! You're home! How was California?

Ken: Great. The weather was beautiful, and I finally saw Twin Peaks, but only one of them.

Michelle: What was the funniest thing that happened?

Ken: Seeing four Scottish people in a convertible Chrysler Sebring, shivering, driving 65mph, with the top down, and listening to gangsta rap.

Michelle: Good one.