Auster-Doyle Syndrome

So the second time that Gemma, of EU political writing fame, e-mailed friends a photo of herself with a famous author, Paul thought there might be something, well, medically awry with her. We briefly discussed the fact that Gemma had forwarded us photos of herself with Paul Auster and Roddy Doyle. Who would be next?

Paul: "Maybe it's like a syndrome, some bizarre illness whereby you function normally in all other aspects of your daily life, but then you are compelled to attend book signings and author talks, have someone photograph you with the author and then boast of the encounter to others. Auster-Doyle Syndrome, maybe."

I've never laughed so hard in my life.

Anna-Lisa: "Yes, it's very sinister indeed. And Paul Auster looked spooky. But I don't know the Doyle man. Do you think there are other Auster-Doyle sufferers 'on the circuit', if you will?"

Paul: "I will. And yes, perhaps thousands. But they each target authors from different genres."

Anna-Lisa: "What's a 'genre'?"

Paul: "It's French for 'province'."

Anna-Lisa: "Do you think Auster-Doyle Syndrome is hereditary?"

Paul: "No. Quit asking stupid questions."

Anna-Lisa: "I don't think we should tell Gemma that we've diagnosed her. I think her feelings will be hurt. And then we can't study her behaviour undetected."

Paul: "But I've never seen you laugh that hard. You can't take the high road now and pretend you weren't a part of this."

Anna-Lisa: "Yes I can, I'm passive aggressive. I was diagnosed by my friend Greg Swartz. He confronted me one day and said, 'Anna-Lisa, you're passive aggressive', to which I replied, 'that's a very passive aggressive tactic, to publicly diagnose another as passive aggressive.' And you are too, Paul. Extremely passive aggressive. I heard Callum diagnose you. I would add to that a Messiah Complex."

Paul: "That's totally incorrect. A Messiah Complex is when someone wants to find a messiah. What you're thinking of is Auto-Messiah Complex, that's when someone thinks that they are the messiah."

Anna-Lisa: "Cite your source."

Paul: "Jesus told me. He works with my dad."

Anna-Lisa: "Cool. Can you ask your dad to ask Jesus where I left my silver earring, please?"