Guess Their Major

Last night Paul and I took a stroll along to Edinburgh Uni's student union to meet Stu and Su for some games of pool. (I was watching, they were cueing. And when Paul asked me why I don't ever play pool, I said that it was because my dad once told me, "if someon'e good at pool, it tells you only one thing: they've spent too much time in bars.")

By the time Su, Stu and Paul had played about 50 games between them, I had devised a few ways of entertaining myself. After I horrified and offended the freaky goth kid at the next table by smiling at him (after he kept staring at us), I turned to the table to our right, which was occupied by seven early-20's young ladies. They weren't particularly stylish, or unstylish, but they were dressed neatly, not at all revealingly, and most were without makeup. The next logical question was: "Paul, what do you think they major in? To me they look like Biology or Nursing majors."

Paul: "I think they're medics."

A-L: "Paramedics."

Paul: "No, studying medicine."

A-L: "That's what I thought, Nursing majors."

Paul: "No, not Nursing. Proper medicine."

A-L: "Oh, I see. I'll be sure to tell my mom, who has delivered hundreds of babies, that you think she's an imposter. By the way, what's the difference between God and a doctor?"

Paul: "What??"

A-L: "God doesn't think he's a doctor. Anyway, they look like Biology majors."

Paul: "Wouldn't that be ironic: Survival of the Ugliest!"

A-L: "What??"

Paul: "Those girls are definitely not Maths or Physics majors. Especially not that one with the curly hair. Doesn't she know perms are out of style?"

A-L: "I don't think she had her hair permed like that. No one would. I think it's natural. And I've decided they're biology majors. They look practical."

Paul: "That would make sense. Darwin went to Edinburgh Uni."

A-L: "Charles? To Edinburgh Uni?"

Paul: "Yes, all the greats did."

A-L: "Like Ronald Reagan?"

Paul: "Yes, Adam Smith, Charles Darwin, David Hume and Ronald Reagan."

A-L: "My mom loves Reagan."

Paul: "I thought they might be English Lit majors, but they're not funky enough. Maybe they're Language majors. Those people always dress plainly."

A-L: "I'm pretty sure Adam Smith was Economics. They could be French majors."

(Giggling and laughing from table of Biology/Nursing/Languages majors next to us, as the "white ball" totally misses its target.)

Paul: "Well, they're definitely not majoring in Geometry."

A-L: "Or Physics."

Paul: "Don't quote me on this, but I think they go to Napier."