In second grade Valerie S. came to school and told everyone her uncle owned Disneyland. And we all knew she was lying, mainly because she wore an off-the-shoulder blouse on picture day, which I thought was highly inappropriate, and also because she didn't have any free tickets. And then, for some reason, the other night at dinner my Dad asked Stuart, who was visiting from Scotland, if I had told him that my dad's brother's step-daughter's husband's half sister was Lynnette "Squeaky" Fromme, who tried to assasinate President Ford in 1975. No, hadn't come up.
Apparently cousin Lynnette, if I can call her that (or cousin Squeaky, which is more fun), is due to be released this coming September. At least that's the impression I got from the inmate fact sheet listing her vitals (her middle name is Alice), which gave 09/05/2005 as her 'Projected Release Date.' Hopefully Squeaky's not reading the date by the European method which would lead her to think that she were going to be released on May 9, 2005. Either way, she'll be out in time to attend the next Family Reunion. (It's scheduled for Hood River, July 2006. At the fairgrounds. Turn right if you're headed East on I-84 from Portland. If you turn left you'll be in the Columbia River!) Squeaky could donate some of her unique, acid-trip inspired embroidery to the auction at the Family Reunion. (All proceeds go towards paying for the next reunion.)
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