Who Knows...

...what tomorrow brings? But today brings furniture.

Packing for a Trip to the Colonies

Oh to know the provenance of this British toiletpaper roll that somehow made its way to the Goodwill store on Clement, in San Francisco (where I left it).

Mary: But Alistair, it's the Colonies. It's best to be prepared.

When Dogs Paint

Christmas Blessings of Sorts

We celebrated Christmas here with a Hot Luck. (Sound familiar? It's a pot-luck perfected by PDX Dave.) Spicy food and drink was the theme. I made deviled eggs, which brought this surprise.

Twins.

Dana: Where did that egg come from?

A-L: A chicken.

(Insert existential chicken/egg loop here.)

And then a friend of semi-half faux Scottish extraction brought this delight:

A-L: Be still my heart. Is that an Irn Bru? Where did you get that?

Scottish(ish) friend: One of the Irish stores.

(Insert existential Scottish/Irish loop. If you know of one.)

Christmas-time Sky in San Francisco

San Francisco at Christmas-time... In case you need another reason to come visit, dear friends in Scotland, and other cold/rainy climes.

San Francisco Competitive Parenting, Quarterfinals

SF Parent #1: Does your nanny only speak Spanish with your child?

SF Parent #2: No.

SF Parent #1: Oh, that's too bad. A missed opportunity.

SF Parent #2: But the funny thing is, the cat is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, and she can't tell the nanny and housekeeper apart, so she's scared of both of them.*

SF Parent #1: Oh, I see.

SF Parent #2: Yeah. We're teaching the cat Spanish, so she can distinguish between the two.

*This is a bonus story.

A Metaphor??

Yesterday all Christmas items were 30% off at the Salvation Army. (If you receive a slightly yellowed-with-age Christmas card from me, you'll know where it came into my possession.) This handsome nativity set (above) appears to be a bargain at $25. Even cheaper after the discount. (I'm not good at word problems, so I'll leave it the mathematicians to calculate the final price.)

But if you look closely, you'll see a key, er, figure is missing. Yes, dear reader, no Baby Jesus. I have a couple theories.

A. It's part of a new "Where's Baby Jesus?" franchise.

B. It's a metaphor for our times, where people have truly lost sight of "the reason for the season".

C. Sorry Caroline, but there's always the possibility that the giraffe-stealing Presbyterians have him.

And then my friend pointed out that the Jesus slot in the package is the same size as a Ferrero Rocher. Which could be used in a pinch as a substitute.

Overheard, Part XV

Overheard, two people on a lunch break: Well, it's going to be interesting to see what happens...

Translations: Well, it's going to suck.

WoW from PSP

"Words of Wisdom from Public Safety Pete" is the theme of the day.

Yesterday I phoned PSP and Irma to check on the progress of "The Great House Painting of 2010."

A-L: How's the house painting going?

PSP: We've hit a snag.

A-L: Tell me more.

PSP: It's raining. And there are two things you don't do in the rain: paint, and pour concrete.

A-L: Wow, just two.

Define: Bonus Story

Yesterday PSP reported that he and Irma are getting the house painted. The last time such a thing happened was in 1986, when Mr. Reinhardt, the 4th grade teacher at my elementary school, painted "the Somis house" (as we call her).

PSP: We're getting the house painted.

A-L: Cool, is Mr. Reinhardt still spending his school vacations painting houses?

PSP: Don't think so.

A-L: Do you remember when he painted the Somis house?

PSP: Sure do. And you better believe the painter heard all about it today.

A-L: Wow, he unlocked a bonus story.

(A bonus story is a story not entirely relevant to the situation at hand, and/or not interesting to the listener. Often can be totally irrelevant, and leads to a story set in Finland. It's a conversation feature perfected by some of our family members, who are Finnish, and sisters, and over the age of 70. Although they've been practicing the art of the bonus story since their youth. Not age related. No known treatment.)

PSP: Yes, he sure did. And I see him unlocking a few more bonus stories over the next couple days.

A-L: Did you advise him that the method for "disarming" the bonus story is to answer the question "Have I told you about xxxxx?" with "Yes"?

PSP: Yes. I mean, no.

Sisters...and Regifting

Look at this special ornament I found at the Salvation Army. (I left it there.)

It says "Sisters share a special Love 1995". I imagine it has a tiny footnote that says "even if you give away this special gift without opening it."

Merry Almost Christmas, Sister Maria.

The Emperor Penguin Had No Shoes

Sister Maria was "helping" Aila and Annais clean up the guest room, when she stumbled upon a village of characters. This tiny dorf was inhabited by toy horses, and unicorns, and this fancily clad fellow:

I call this piece "Penguin in Heels". We took him back home, as he didn't look up for the long walk from the guest room back to the girls' room. Somebody forgot to pack his walking shoes.

Some Bunny

Some bunny is NOT happy to be at the Goodwill store on Fillmore in San Francisco. Look at that face. I'm not sure why she's holding a rope? Any ideas?

The Toyota Camry

Last night the Dog-Father drove me to my Camry, which had been strategically parked for over a week.

A-L: Please don't drive away. I'm not entirely confident it will start.

The Camry starts up, and sounds a bit, er, groggy.

A-L: Sounds good, huh?

D-F: Yes, perfect. Purring like a kitten.

A-L: A kitten that's been drinking whisky.

Kitty: A glass of Laphroaig for me, please.