Oops

They said Gidget died last week so I've been mourning Sally Field who it turns out is alive and well. Oops.

Billie Jean

So this afternoon I tricked my flatmate Ted into cleaning by hypnotizing him with the music of Michael Jackson. Ted and Michael and I did the dishes, scrubbed the counters, and swept and washed the floor. And when "Billie Jean" came on Ted said, "oh this music good." Michael Jackson. Yes, Ted, it's good. He's very talented. And the next thing Ted said was, "Michael Jackson black man, white afro." I hear ya.

Let Me Make This Perfectly Clear, Paul

I hate magic. I don't hate magicians, I just hate magic. And I don't think magicians are conceited as you falsly assert on your blog, I just think they have no friends. Magic is not magic, by the way. It's fake. It's people lying to you and trying to make you believe that something they just did is not possible. Well, guess what? It is possible. You know why? Because they just did it. So you can send as many people as you want to your magician friend's web site, but I'm not sold. Because I don't want what he's selling: lies. And besides, I know how all the tricks work. They involve "magic" decks of cards with 52 Aces of spades, and secret plastic thumb extensions, and creepy secret pockets in coat cuffs. You know how I know? because I spent two years of my life going to conventions and a "magician" worked at our booth. And he wasn't conceited. The end. Good night.

Dear Readers

I feel the obligation to entertain you on your Friday afternoon. Although I remember well, from my many years of living in the States, that the Friday after President's Day REALLY seems like a Thursday, due to the time warp that Abraham Lincoln 'enacted' when he died. (Note to my dad: No, I am not on drugs.) So nonetheless, I will offer you some entertainment on your Thursday afternoon.

Actually, not much to say. Paul, my flatmate, (not Paul who's not my flatmate who lives in Portland) has enacted a "No Dish Left Behind" policy in an attempt to curb the non-dishwashing antics of our Polish flatmate. Unfortunately, for Ted the "Pole" to understand and appreciate the hilarity, and punniness, of this new policy, we would have to teach him first about the "No Child Left Behind" .

Meanwhile, here's what that pesky Scott Peterson is up to.

Edinburgh Snowcam

This is what it looks like right now (!) in the city of Edinburgh. Pretty, huh? Tell me it's pretty.

Ask Eric About His Doll

Now that I've exposed Eric and his love for cabbage patch dolls, I should direct you to his site so you can meet the man for yourself. He's a funny one. My friend once asked him to describe his hometown in three words. Eric replied: "Very boring, ma'am." Very clever, Eric.

The Rosetta Stone of Blackmail

This photo of my friend Eric and his little brother with their cabbage patch dolls would be the ultimate blackmail photo, except I got the photo from him...

Mr. Bloggy, My Mentor

My old* boss Dwayne Melancon has a blog where he writes about mentoring, and priorities, and procrastinating, and other smart business stuff. (Dwayne's the one whose brow is featured in the top right.)

I worked for/with Dwayne at Tripwire Inc. in Portland in 2000. Let me tell you about Dwayne:
-he is from Louisiana, and he's allergic to shellfish (see the irony?????)
-he didn't get mad at me when I broke the Galileo Thermometer in his office
-he was a fair, smart, kind and funny boss
-he and his wife and three kids came to my family reunion in 2002 (to the auction)
-he didn't fire me when I opened an e-mail attachment that spread a virus to EVERYONE at Tripwire

So whatever you read on his site, you got the real scoop here.

*former, not elderly

Overhead in Edinburgh - 19 February 2004

Overhead while walking down Princes Street: "I always end up over-ambitiousizing," a super-humble confession by one over-ambitious gentleman to his duly impressed lady friend.

The New Job

Well the new job as a lecturer at Napier University (www.napier.ac.uk) is going 'grand', as the Irish would say. I'm teaching Publishing Management I and so far (in week 3) my students are delightful and good. They are, on the whole, very bright and interested. (Of course I have to say this because this information lives on the Internet and one of them might stumble upon it, when 'googling' my name.) So I feel this new connection to academia, as it were, has affected my ability to post silly and ridiculous and sometimes controversial things to my blog. So from now on I will be posting lecture notes.
Love,
The Teacher

Thank Goodness

Blogger has announced that they've updated the way the comments work, so you don't have to open a Blogger account to comment. So, comment away.

Update on My Niece's Vocabulary

My sister reports that Aila 'is still speaking Chinese, but now with a smattering of English words like "Bee," "No," "Hot," "Hat," "Apple," "Bird," "Ernie," (Sesame Street influence) "Shoe," "Back Pack," "Good Girl," and the inevitable "Mine!"'

A Royal Do

As you might have heard, Charles and Camilla are getting married on April 8. I, for one, am happy for them. I declined the invitation to be a bridesmaid. It's for the best, as the Queen was not particularly thrilled at the idea of having a Yank's mug on the commemorative mugs.

New Job

This Friday I start work at Napier University as a lecturer in Publishing Management. The students are second-year undergraduates. So I guess that means I have to start conducting myself like a teacher. When I was in sixth grade, I went to my friend Heidi's house, and she lived next door to Mrs. Biesendorfer, our teacher. And Mrs. Biesendorfer was wearing jeans! Teachers don't wear jeans.

Delayed Birth Announcement:

Maria Helena

born February 7, 1971

at Valley Presbyterian Hospital

to proud first-time parents

Peter and Irma Sandstrum

Happy 34th Birthday Maria!

Internationalityness

My sister, Maria, passes on the link below to words wonderful and foreign - to English speakers at least.

http://www.wordswithoutborders.org/article.php?lab=InOtherWords

Oh, and Happy Groundhog Day.

Polish-Style Potato Pancakes

Last night Ted made dinner. Platskis, I think. Potato pancakes they were. He called his wife to get the recipe: flour, eggs, onion, potatoes (grated), salt, pepper, fry in oil until yummy. (And until every dish in the house is coated in oil.) Mmmmmm.

Ted's English Skills

The Polish Flatmate, Ted, has mastered English. When you can make people laugh in a second language then you are fluent. And the other night, when we were playing cards and Paul was falling asleep, Ted said, "Paul is kaput." Now that's fluency.