The Guide to a Perfect All-American Halloween Party in Scotland

In late September/early October of an election year most folks are pondering global issues. I am too. But my global issues involve how to host an authentic American Halloween party in Edinburgh. As the sole American host I feel the Scots will look to me for guidance.

First let me debunk a couple myths. American Halloween parties do not involve dunking or 'bobbing' for apples, for two reasons. 1. It's unsanitary. A person fishing with their open mouth around a tub full of water trying for an apple will invariably deposit bacteria. 2. It's dumb.

Second, Halloween Costumes have nothing to do with scaring people. You don't, as one Scottish friend suggested, have to dress as a ghost or goblin or mummy or witch or serial killer. You can dress as anything you want.

Third, Halloween is for adults. I have made up the following statistic which I stand by: 57% of Americans aged 18 and over attend a Halloween party, compared with only 31% who attend a New Year's Eve party.

Fourth, Halloween Costumes can be 'tacky' or 'tasteless'. (ie: it's ok to dress as Osama bin Laden or the Unabomber - a favorite of a few years back).

Fifth, use your imagination. Following is a list of some of some Halloween costumes of which I approve:

- A college acquaintance dressed in all brown and taped pieces of yellow paper to himself. Voila, he was 'Poop with corn in it'

- My friend Harold has chosen his costume for this year: A Devil with a Mullet

- One year Gavin grew his hair out (which obviously requires much planning and Halloween costume commitment) and shaved himself a bald spot and created a comb-over for a very authentic old man costume

- One Halloween spent in Las Vegas I came upon some young college guys dressed in plain wool trousers, wearing braces (suspenders, for the Americans), and plain grey shirts. They had grown the appropriate facial hair and were, you guessed it, Amish. This costume was made all the better by the fact that they were surrounded by women dressed as kittens and were at the craps table.

- Several friends all dressed as Madonna, but each from a different album

- Some of the old stand bys can be very good: the old lady/man, the nerd, the pregnant cheerleader, the flasher, the priest or nun (wearing sequins underneath), and the cross dresser.

I hope the above tips have been helpful.

Anna-Lisa

Old Writings: The Announcement of My Move to Edinburgh

In September I'm starting school in Edinburgh, Scotland. At Napier University. (It's not French.) Mr. Napier was a Mathematician. I'll be studying Publishing. Why, you ask? Because. Because I said so.

I chose Napier University because they have have an exchange program with the University of Jyvaskyla, in Finland (of course). And any institution associated with anything Finnish has to be good.

On the Missouri School of Journalism's web site I found this factlet: [Edinburgh] flourished by the 18th century time of enlightenment, when it was called the "Athens of the North." (Athens, Georgia?) And then I came upon the Edinburgh Chamber of Commerce web site which brags that Robert Louis Stevenson said Edinburgh "is what Paris ought to be."

So I rest my case. No, I haven't thought this out clearly. And no, Idon't know what I'll do with a Masters degree in publishing from some Scottish diploma mill, but at least y'all will have a friend in Scotland. I'll forward my address when I have it. Come visit.

Anna-Lisa MacSandstrum

Old Writings: Another Reason to Hate the French

Dear Airport Worker Who Stole Things Out of My Suitcase On My Recent Trip Through Paris,

I hope you enjoy the fish knife I bought in Finland. It was for my friend, but now that I think about it, you’ll get more use out of it. (The leather case has a loop so you can wear it on your belt.)

Please take care of my blue bikini bottoms. I’m sure you’ll find someone who’s a size 10 and owns the matching bikini top. Remember to rinse in cold water after each use and wash with gentle detergent.

You little devil, you don’t like chocolate bars or black licorice, but you LOVE chocolate filled mints. My 96-year-old great aunt bought those mints for my sister, silly. I’ll tell her you said “merci.” And that wooden toy was for a co-worker. But he pitched a fit when I told him his present was stolen, so he didn’t deserve it anyway.

I was foolish to put my undeveloped film in my checked bag, and thank you for teaching me that lesson! At least now I don’t have to pay to get those 6 rolls developed (that’s the most expensive part of this hobby). Please order double prints and send the extras to Marketta & Christian, Ritva, Leila, Ilkka & Hille, and Leena’s family, along with thank you notes. Isn’t Finland gorgeous in the summer!?! Give me a call if you need help labeling the photos.

If you’re ever in the States, you have a place to stay!

Bonjour,
Anna-Lisa

Old Writings: Work at the L.A. Daily News

I started my new job on Monday, at the L.A. Daily News. I'm the Recruitment Sales Coordinator in the Advertising Department. So far I've folded pieces of paper and made copies. I love it.

The guy who sits across the aisle answers the phone all day in a monotone voice, "Classified, this is Alex." Classified, this is Alex. Classified, this is Alex. He's 27, and is a step-grandfather. The lady who sits next to me is getting divorced. She spends her day making personal calls. Apparently her soon-to-be ex-husband only offered her 20% of the profits from the sale of their home. And a year ago, a fortune teller who she met at a Pampered Chef Party (think Tupperware) told her that she needed to work on her relationship or it would end.

I still don't have a computer because Ernesto in I.S. can't find the work order that my boss and my boss's boss signed on Monday. Today Ernesto told me, "the good thing is, if you don't have a computer you don't have to do any work. Ha ha ha." Ernesto is hilarious. And a hard worker.

Today I heard Diane telling Shawn and Stacey that cats can get acne. Catne, maybe. And then there's the Pennsylvania Dutch girl, Analissa, who works in Retail Advertising. Cathy had a sticky note on her calendar to remind her to pray for Analissa, maybe because she spells her name wrong.

Anna-Lisa

Bush or Kerry

My absentee ballot should be arriving here in Ediburgh in the next couple weeks so I can cast my vote for the next President. Hmm. Tough choice. (see http://www.jibjab.com/)

My sister and I have to cancel out our parents' votes. That's how it works, right? Two Kerrys cancel two Bushs. I read an article in The Big Issue in Scotland http://www.bigissuescotland.com/ that says the 18-24 year olds will determine the outcome of this Presidential election. Only 32% of that age group voted in the last election. That's pathetic. I have to admit I didn't vote in the last election because I didn't like Gore or Bush. And a friend of mine had always said 'no vote is a vote.' I think that's bad advice.

365 Days of Reading

Books Read since September 2003:
Made in America by Bill Bryson
The Madness of Adam & Eve by David Horrobin
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
How to Lose Friends & Alienate People by Toby Young
The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster
Herzog by Saul Bellow
Jigsaw by Sybille Bedford
The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
The Love Hexagon by William Sutcliffe
Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
Time for Bed by David Baddiel
O Caledonia by Elspeth Barker
Le Mariage by Diane Johnson
Post Office by Charles Bukowski
Goodness by Tim Parks
Cakes & Ale W. Somerset Maugham
The Restraint of Beast by Magnus Miles
Hotel World by Ali Smith
New Scottish Writing 1997
The Perfect Storm by Sebastian Junger
May You be the Mother of a Hundred Sons by Elizabeth Bumiller

Edinburgh, Day 372

My one-year anniversary of staying in (not "living in" as the Americans would say) Edinburgh passed uneventfully. Oh, maybe it rained. My how the year has flown. My grandma used to say "the older you get, the faster the years go by." I thought she was just crazy, but maybe she was on to something.

This morning on the bus to work I overheard someone say, "where has the summer gone, I can't believe it's almost October." What summer? It's Scotland. It's been 60 degrees since June. Scotland didn't get the "it's summer-time" memo. Now the weather is already turning cold, just like it did when I arrived a year ago.

Highlights of this year in Edinburgh include finding the best kebab place this side of the Nile, Kebab Mahal at 7 Nicolson Square, and finishing a masters dissertation. Six years ago when I went to my friend's college graduation and saw all the folks in gowns getting their diplomas I decided I wanted to go back to school for a masters degree. I know that's childish. But now it's finished and in November I'll get to put on a gown and get a degree.

Scott Peterson's Trial

The Laci Peterson murder case has been occupying my mind lately. I've been following the story since a couple weeks after she disappeared in December 2002. The Modesto Bee www.modbee.com has the best coverage. But sometimes I check with Court TV www.courttv.com/trials/peterson/.

For a while it looked like Scott Peterson's fancy-dancy lawyer was going to pull some stunt to get him acquitted. But now the prosecution's case seems to be going better.

Even if Scott Peterson is convicted of killing his wife Laci and their unborn son, we will probably never know why he did it.

Feline Visitors

Dear Paul and Judy,

Ash, formerly Hash Man, is staying with us while his guardians wait for their new flat to be remodeled.

So, for a month we have a cat. He suffers from a bizarre disorder that causes him to lick the fur off his abdomen. (It might be psychogenic dermatitis.) Poor kitty.

The good news is he caught a mouse yesterday. The bad news is he caught a mouse yesterday. Good kitty.

Love,
Anna-Lisa

Lengua Tacos

Dear Paul and Judy,

As you know I'm a Mexican food snob.

I grew up in Southern California eating burritos at the Somis Market. And chimichangas. No one can top their pico de gallo.

I've been in Edinburgh for a year, and I still haven't tried any of the many Mexican restuarants. I just can't. Eating Mexican food in Edinburgh is like eating haggis in Rome.

But tonight we made tacos. So I've had Mexican food in Scotland. Finally.

Love,
Anna-Lisa

Finding a Focus for your Blog

So I started a blog to copy my flatmate Paul (www.anoasis.co.uk) and now I can't think of what to write. Originally I was just going to ramble, like an online diary, but then I remembered that other people will be able to read it. And I don't want them to know I ramble. At least I don't think I want them to know I ramble.

And then I decided that I would try to find a focus for my blog. I could give people some useful information, like how to REALLY search Google, or how to ace an interview, or make a bitchin' cup of coffee. But then I remembered that the only person reading my blog, probably, is my flatmate Paul (and maybe his big sister Judy), so I'm back to square one.

Dear Paul and Judy,

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Love,
Anna-Lisa

Jolie Holland's "Escondida"

A music recommendation from my friend Robert DiFalco:
"If you ever get a chance, listen to some Jolie Holland. Escondida is my favorite album."

Other good music DiFalco recommends:

• Neutral Milk Hotel, "In the Aeroplane over the Sea" http://neutralmilkhotel.net/
• Modest Mouse http://www.modestmousemusic.com/
• Califone www.perishablerecords.com/califone.html
• Built to Spill http://www.builttospill.com/dotcom/main.html