I had heard of Portuguese Water Dogs, but I was stunned to learn this week about Norwegian Forest Cats. I love the idea of animals having a nationality.
And then today, as if on cue, Ted said, "Kitty is Scottish."
If you insist, Ted, on ascribing human characteristics to an animal. A bit childish, don't you think, I asked Kitty.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
If you happen to be in West Hollywood on the 14th August...
Don't miss Amy Cochet on August 14th in her comeback solo performance entitled:Oh Mama!
Amy Cochet has been quite busy since her last one woman show when she raised money to attend the prestigious Cabaret Conference at Yale. After starting a new career, having a baby, and surviving the first year of motherhood, Amy returns to the Gardenia in her new show entitled, Oh Mama! Join Amy, and her musical director, Ron Snyder, for a look at the life changing experience of becoming a parent and bringing up baby.The Gardenia
7066 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90038
(reservations recommended for show, required for dinner)
(323) 467-7444
Monday, August 14th.
SHOWTIME: 9:00 PM
Gardenia serves dinner starting at 7:00 PM.
$15 dollar cover (Cabaret West members 2 for 1) and a 2 drink minimum.
Monday, July 24, 2006
What I've learned
I've learned that when you're in Amsterdam you should probably go to the Anne Frank House instead of going to the Pancake House next door.
What have you learned, dear reader? Talk to me.
What have you learned, dear reader? Talk to me.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Vindication (and talking cats)
A-L: Remember when that lady told me on my 30th birthday that I looked like I was over 30?
Kitty: Uh, no.
A-L: Well she did. And I'll never shop at Albertsons again.
Kitty: What's Albertsons?
A-L: Well, I must be getting younger, because TWO people asked me if I was 21 at the Chicago Airport.
Kitty: Were they drunk?
A-L: No, they were working the desk at the United lounge.
Kitty: Why were they asking you how old you are? Were you drinking?
A-L: No, they asked if I wanted drink coupons, and of course I said yes.
Kitty: Did you use the coupons?
A-L: No, you're getting off track. The point of the story was that TWO people thought I was under 21.
Kitty: So does that mean you look 42?
A-L: This is the last time you're appearing in dialogue. And Caroline's cats are more affectionate than you.
Kitty: Uh, no.
A-L: Well she did. And I'll never shop at Albertsons again.
Kitty: What's Albertsons?
A-L: Well, I must be getting younger, because TWO people asked me if I was 21 at the Chicago Airport.
Kitty: Were they drunk?
A-L: No, they were working the desk at the United lounge.
Kitty: Why were they asking you how old you are? Were you drinking?
A-L: No, they asked if I wanted drink coupons, and of course I said yes.
Kitty: Did you use the coupons?
A-L: No, you're getting off track. The point of the story was that TWO people thought I was under 21.
Kitty: So does that mean you look 42?
A-L: This is the last time you're appearing in dialogue. And Caroline's cats are more affectionate than you.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Delayed Response
And then my sister replied to Aila.
Maria: No, those are your great-great fairy godmothers.
True story. Not really.
Maria: No, those are your great-great fairy godmothers.
True story. Not really.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Reunion Mania
Yes we had water bottles at our family reunion. Doesn't everyone? The label is above. So I brought a bottle home from the reunion for Maria. And then young Aila saw the water bottle.Aila: Mom, who are these people?
Maria: They're you're ancestors. It's your great-great grandmother and your great-great grandfather.
... 4 days later
Aila (holding the "Holloway" water bottle): Mom, are these my fairy godmothers?
True story. Sponsored by Disney.
Syrian Restaurant
Today a colleague and I went to Palmyra Pizza for lunch. I was so looking forward to a Humus Falafel. The place looked closed. Lights low. Sign at the door says:
I read this sign as:
It's 12:45, I'm hungry. I know the guy who runs the place. Saw him inside. Knocked on the door.
Guy Who Runs the Place: Hi. We're closed, but if you're getting take-away I'll serve you.
A-L: Great. Your sign confused me. I thought it said you were open 12 - 2pm.
GWRTP: No, we open at 2pm on Fridays.
A-L to colleague: He's Syrian, but he's friends with me even though I'm American.
GWRTP: I hate your President, not you.
A-L: Yeah, that's ok. Why do you open at 2pm on Fridays?
GWRTP: We have Friday prayers at 1 o'clock, but that's fine, I'll make your falafel first.
Oops.
Open 12 pm
Fridays Open 2pm
I read this sign as:
Open 12 - 2 pm.
It's 12:45, I'm hungry. I know the guy who runs the place. Saw him inside. Knocked on the door.
Guy Who Runs the Place: Hi. We're closed, but if you're getting take-away I'll serve you.
A-L: Great. Your sign confused me. I thought it said you were open 12 - 2pm.
GWRTP: No, we open at 2pm on Fridays.
A-L to colleague: He's Syrian, but he's friends with me even though I'm American.
GWRTP: I hate your President, not you.
A-L: Yeah, that's ok. Why do you open at 2pm on Fridays?
GWRTP: We have Friday prayers at 1 o'clock, but that's fine, I'll make your falafel first.
Oops.
From Kilted Poles to Dyslexia
Ok, new topic: Dyslexia.
Some facts:
Some facts:
- It is estimated that about one person in ten is dyslexic.
- dyslexia can be caused by inherited factors, and/or hearing problems at an early age.
- is often accompanied by left-handedness somewhere in the family
- the brains of dyslexic children show an unusual variation in left- and right-side activity (Source: http://www.dyslexia-parent.com/mag24.html)
- more males than females are affected (Source: http://www.dyslexic.org.uk/aboutdyslexia.htm)
From http://www.dyslexia-test.com/adults.html:
FREE DYSLEXIA PRE-TEST
If you answer 'Yes' to five or more of these questions, then you may be dyslexic, and our Dyslexia Test for Adults will give you a clear assessment:
- When writing checks/cheques, do you frequently find yourself making mistakes?
- When using the telephone, do you tend to get the numbers mixed up when you dial?
- Is your spelling poor?
- Do you mix up dates and times and miss appointments?
- Do you find forms difficult and confusing?
- Do you find it difficult to take messages on the telephone and pass them on correctly?
- Do you mix up bus numbers like 95 and 59?
- Do you find it difficult to say the months of the year forward in a fluent manner?
- Did you find it hard to learn your multiplication tables at school?
- Do you take longer than you should to read a page of a book?
- Do you find difficulty in telling left from right?
- When you have to say a long word, do you sometimes find it difficult to get all the sounds in the right order?
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Dress Up
Judy and Gerry were here in May, having just been at a wedding. What a coincidence that Gerry and Ted are the same height.So the only thing to do was to dress up Ted as a Scotsman. Tailoring by Gerry.
240 Watts
Bev: It looks like Kitty is plugged in.A-L: She is.
Bev: Really?
A-L: That's how we get her eyes to glow so beautifully.
Kitty Care (cubed)
I was a tad worried about leaving Kitty for 18 days, given that the last time I went home she mysteriously broke her foot. So, dear reader, this time I employed a strategy that I like to call "the triple plant." This is how it works:
A-L: Stuart, can you watch Kitty while I'm gone?
Stuart: Sure.
A-L: You need to give her fresh water every day, change the litter and feed her in the morning and at night.
Stuart: No problem.
A-L: If anything happens to her, I hold you personally responsible.
...
Three hours later...
A-L: Ted, I'm going to California for 18 days. Can you take care of Kitty?
Ted: No problem.
A-L: You need to give her fresh water every day, change the litter and feed her in the morning and at night.
Ted: No problem.
A-L: If anything happens to her, I hold you personally responsible.
...
Twenty minutes later...
A-L: Paul, can you watch Kitty while I'm at home?
Paul: Sure, I think I'll be here most of the time.
A-L: Cool. I think Stuart's going to check in on her as well, but if you can make sure she's ok, that would be great.
Paul: No problem.
And then I gave him a look that said, "If anything happens to her, I hold you personally responsible."
...
And while I was gone, Ted dropped a marble slab on his foot and was off work for 5 days. But Kitty is fine. And now she expects to be fed six times a day.
A-L: Stuart, can you watch Kitty while I'm gone?
Stuart: Sure.
A-L: You need to give her fresh water every day, change the litter and feed her in the morning and at night.
Stuart: No problem.
A-L: If anything happens to her, I hold you personally responsible.
...
Three hours later...
A-L: Ted, I'm going to California for 18 days. Can you take care of Kitty?
Ted: No problem.
A-L: You need to give her fresh water every day, change the litter and feed her in the morning and at night.
Ted: No problem.
A-L: If anything happens to her, I hold you personally responsible.
...
Twenty minutes later...
A-L: Paul, can you watch Kitty while I'm at home?
Paul: Sure, I think I'll be here most of the time.
A-L: Cool. I think Stuart's going to check in on her as well, but if you can make sure she's ok, that would be great.
Paul: No problem.
And then I gave him a look that said, "If anything happens to her, I hold you personally responsible."
...
And while I was gone, Ted dropped a marble slab on his foot and was off work for 5 days. But Kitty is fine. And now she expects to be fed six times a day.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Itinerary
Peter: We have to get up at 4:30 tomorrow morning.
A-L: You can't possibly be talking to me.
Peter: The airport is very busy on Monday mornings.
A-L: So busy that I have to arrive three hours before my flight to Colorado Springs?
Peter: Colorado Springs? Is that one of the seven airports in London?
A-L: No, it's a town in Colorado. I have a layover there on the way to Chicago.
Peter: Chicago? Is there a jazz festival going on?
A-L: At the airport? I don't think so. I have a layover there on the way to London. Before my flight to Edinburgh.
Peter: Are you sure you don't want to stop in a couple more cities before you head home? Who booked this flight?
A-L: You did initially, but I changed it. Why do you ask?
Peter: It's a bit of a rookie move to fly through Colorado Springs on a Monday in July, don't you think? Everyone knows they have lightening storms in that part of the country in the summer.
A-L: The lightening storms start at 3pm. You could set your watch by them. I'm landing there at 11am.
Peter: Yeah, but if there are storms in Denver they route all those planes to Colorado Springs. So you could actually get stuck in Colorado Springs. Which would be ok, if you were one of the those weird stormchasers.
A-L: Stuck forever, in Colorado Springs?
Peter: It's not impossible. And it's the price you'll pay for changing a flight I booked.
A-L: Well, if you'll look at Exhibit A, the itinerary for the original flight you booked, the defendant was left with a 9-hour layover in Chicago. On a Monday, in July. Definitely a rookie move.
Peter: I have your confirmation number. I could route the defendant through Philly.
A-L: You can't possibly be talking to me.
Peter: The airport is very busy on Monday mornings.
A-L: So busy that I have to arrive three hours before my flight to Colorado Springs?
Peter: Colorado Springs? Is that one of the seven airports in London?
A-L: No, it's a town in Colorado. I have a layover there on the way to Chicago.
Peter: Chicago? Is there a jazz festival going on?
A-L: At the airport? I don't think so. I have a layover there on the way to London. Before my flight to Edinburgh.
Peter: Are you sure you don't want to stop in a couple more cities before you head home? Who booked this flight?
A-L: You did initially, but I changed it. Why do you ask?
Peter: It's a bit of a rookie move to fly through Colorado Springs on a Monday in July, don't you think? Everyone knows they have lightening storms in that part of the country in the summer.
A-L: The lightening storms start at 3pm. You could set your watch by them. I'm landing there at 11am.
Peter: Yeah, but if there are storms in Denver they route all those planes to Colorado Springs. So you could actually get stuck in Colorado Springs. Which would be ok, if you were one of the those weird stormchasers.
A-L: Stuck forever, in Colorado Springs?
Peter: It's not impossible. And it's the price you'll pay for changing a flight I booked.
A-L: Well, if you'll look at Exhibit A, the itinerary for the original flight you booked, the defendant was left with a 9-hour layover in Chicago. On a Monday, in July. Definitely a rookie move.
Peter: I have your confirmation number. I could route the defendant through Philly.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Science Class with Aila
Just some excerpts from Aila from the last couple weeks...
Aila to Irma: Do you know what comes out of a volcano?
Irma: What?
Aila: Lava. And magma. It's hot. Don't touch it.
...
Aila to A-L: Don't touch cicadas.
A-L: What's a cicada?
Aila: It's a bug. Don't touch them, they're expensive.
...
Aila to Man in the pool: Don't take the candy from hell.
Man: Oh, ok.
A-L to Man: "Candy from hell" means drugs.
Maria to A-L: That's my little holy roller.
...
Annais: Eow. (read: Meow.)
Aila to Irma: Do you know what comes out of a volcano?
Irma: What?
Aila: Lava. And magma. It's hot. Don't touch it.
...
Aila to A-L: Don't touch cicadas.
A-L: What's a cicada?
Aila: It's a bug. Don't touch them, they're expensive.
...
Aila to Man in the pool: Don't take the candy from hell.
Man: Oh, ok.
A-L to Man: "Candy from hell" means drugs.
Maria to A-L: That's my little holy roller.
...
Annais: Eow. (read: Meow.)
Thursday, July 13, 2006
MannBowles Wedding Mania - Part Deux
Just to clarify, Caroline hates Gerber daisies, not daisies.
So, the wedding gifts were moved off the bed in the guest room and downstairs to a display area. Mucho pewter. Mucho.
Caroline: This is only half the pewter.
A-L: Wow. That's a lot of pewter.
Caroline: And these dishes are Denby.
A-L: Wow. They're beautiful.
Caroline: Dave picked them out. They're English.
A-L: They look Scandinavian. Did I tell you my mom's from Finland?
Caroline: They're English. Denby is English. And this is our flatware. (Hands me a serving spoon.)
A-L: Wow. Very beautiful.
Caroline: It's stainless, not sterling.
A-L: I won't tell anyone.
So, the wedding gifts were moved off the bed in the guest room and downstairs to a display area. Mucho pewter. Mucho.
Caroline: This is only half the pewter.
A-L: Wow. That's a lot of pewter.
Caroline: And these dishes are Denby.
A-L: Wow. They're beautiful.
Caroline: Dave picked them out. They're English.
A-L: They look Scandinavian. Did I tell you my mom's from Finland?
Caroline: They're English. Denby is English. And this is our flatware. (Hands me a serving spoon.)
A-L: Wow. Very beautiful.
Caroline: It's stainless, not sterling.
A-L: I won't tell anyone.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Bowles-Ball, But Not - Part 1
So I'm staying at Dave and Caroline's place in Portland (see Hyphenations, Thursday March 02, 2006). The wedding is in September, so they are mid-wedding mania. I arrived on Sunday night as Caroline was flipping through magazines looking for bouquet and flower arrangement ideas.
Caroline: We were going to put you in the guest room, but it looks like a wedding shower threw up in there. (Leads me upstairs and shows me guest bed filled with wedding gifts.)
A-L: That's fine. I'll sleep in the hot tub.
Caroline: That's where I'm keeping bridal magazines.
A-L: The dining room table?
Caroline: That's the invitation addressing and stamping station.
A-L: That's ok. I'll stay up all night and look at bouquet ideas.
Caroline: Great. I'm meeting the florist tomorrow, so I want to show her some arrangements I like.
A-L: What are you looking for?
Caroline: I don't like spikey, or daisies, or cheap looking roses. I'd like a bouquet of flowers that are in season.
A-L: Wow, these are pretty.
Caroline: Those are (insert latin flower name), they're Spring flowers.
A-L: Oh. Well, these are pretty too.
Caroline: Spring flowers. We're getting married in September.
A-L: Oh. Uhh, what about tulips. My sister had those.
Caroline: Spring. Tulips are born in the Spring. We're getting married in the Fall.
A-L: Oh. Uhh, what's born in the Fall?
Caroline: (Insert latin flower names) are Fall flowers.
A-L: You could carry an ear of corn. And some wheat.
Caroline: I don't like spikey arrangements.
Caroline: We were going to put you in the guest room, but it looks like a wedding shower threw up in there. (Leads me upstairs and shows me guest bed filled with wedding gifts.)
A-L: That's fine. I'll sleep in the hot tub.
Caroline: That's where I'm keeping bridal magazines.
A-L: The dining room table?
Caroline: That's the invitation addressing and stamping station.
A-L: That's ok. I'll stay up all night and look at bouquet ideas.
Caroline: Great. I'm meeting the florist tomorrow, so I want to show her some arrangements I like.
A-L: What are you looking for?
Caroline: I don't like spikey, or daisies, or cheap looking roses. I'd like a bouquet of flowers that are in season.
A-L: Wow, these are pretty.
Caroline: Those are (insert latin flower name), they're Spring flowers.
A-L: Oh. Well, these are pretty too.
Caroline: Spring flowers. We're getting married in September.
A-L: Oh. Uhh, what about tulips. My sister had those.
Caroline: Spring. Tulips are born in the Spring. We're getting married in the Fall.
A-L: Oh. Uhh, what's born in the Fall?
Caroline: (Insert latin flower names) are Fall flowers.
A-L: You could carry an ear of corn. And some wheat.
Caroline: I don't like spikey arrangements.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Update (via Portland)
Polish Flatmate Ted finally made it back to Poland to visit his family, after a year and a half absence. He traveled home for his daughter Angela's first communion this May. Three weeks later Ted returned to Edinburgh with 330 kilos of Polish meat. He's currently working nights cleaning at the Sheraton, and mornings cleaning at Zizzi. In his free time he's learning verb conjugation, and eating Polish meat.
Scottish Flatmate Paul passed his third year exams and will start fourth year at Edinburgh Uni in September. In his free time he's geeking out, making travel plans, and pretending to not be madly in love with Kitty.
A-L is now working in export sales at the publisher, trying to keep cat hair off black clothes, and has recently started blogging again. In her free time, she's teaching herself the third person reflexive.
Scottish Flatmate Paul passed his third year exams and will start fourth year at Edinburgh Uni in September. In his free time he's geeking out, making travel plans, and pretending to not be madly in love with Kitty.
A-L is now working in export sales at the publisher, trying to keep cat hair off black clothes, and has recently started blogging again. In her free time, she's teaching herself the third person reflexive.
Kitty Care
Stuart is in charge of Kitty care while I'm Stateside. Worryingly, a couple days before I left, this conversation took place:
A-L: Do you still have the keys to the flat?
Stuart: Yeah, do you want them back?
A-L: Uh, no. You might need them to get into the flat to feed and comb and love and play with Kitty.
Stuart: Oh yeah.
A-L: Do you still have the keys to the flat?
Stuart: Yeah, do you want them back?
A-L: Uh, no. You might need them to get into the flat to feed and comb and love and play with Kitty.
Stuart: Oh yeah.
The Holloway Family Reunion
You missed it. We've been having reunions since 1960, and every two years since 1980, and it's over for another two years. The reunion was held this past weekend at the fairgrounds near Hood River, Oregon. Pictures to follow soon.
There was a bit of beer involved. And on Saturday night, there was music. And beer + music + family reunions = Cousin Tygh doing 'the worm'. And my dad had a bit of beer as well. Which led to this conversation the next day:
A-L: Peter had a bit of beer last night.
Cousin Steve: Yeah, he was havin' a good time.
A-L: I had to leave when he started doing the moonwalk.
Cousin Steve: No, I saw you around after that. He started moonwalking at about 7:30p.m.
A-L: During the auction?
Cousin Steve: Yeah.
A-L: Well, when my mom and I left at about 11:30pm I said to her, 'I hope someone puts your husband to bed.' That's when he was moonwalking in the middle of the circle of people dancing, right before Tygh did 'the worm'.
Cousin Steve: Yeah, if Tygh was doin' it, Peter was tryin' it.
There was a bit of beer involved. And on Saturday night, there was music. And beer + music + family reunions = Cousin Tygh doing 'the worm'. And my dad had a bit of beer as well. Which led to this conversation the next day:
A-L: Peter had a bit of beer last night.
Cousin Steve: Yeah, he was havin' a good time.
A-L: I had to leave when he started doing the moonwalk.
Cousin Steve: No, I saw you around after that. He started moonwalking at about 7:30p.m.
A-L: During the auction?
Cousin Steve: Yeah.
A-L: Well, when my mom and I left at about 11:30pm I said to her, 'I hope someone puts your husband to bed.' That's when he was moonwalking in the middle of the circle of people dancing, right before Tygh did 'the worm'.
Cousin Steve: Yeah, if Tygh was doin' it, Peter was tryin' it.
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